Sometimes your child may want to share something important with you but wants assurance that you won’t tell anyone else. How do you respond if your child says to you “I'll tell you but you can't tell anyone”?
Begin by reassuring your child that you want to hear what she has to say. However, promising not to tell anyone else is something that you may or may not be able to do depending on what she reveals.
You might respond, “I’m glad you’re coming to me and I want to hear what you have to say. I can’t promise that I won’t feel like I need to tell someone who can provide more knowledge or help. However, I can promise that if I believe we need someone else’s help, we’ll look for that person together.”
By letting your child know how you will handle the situation if you feel you need to get someone else involved, you are being honest. You will then be able to act with integrity if the situation requires telling someone else.
I'll tell you but you can't tell anyone.
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