Being kind is a choice. It’s a win-win choice. You feel good about
yourself when you do something kind for someone. They also feel better
because of your kindness.
How would you rate the level of kindness in your family? Sometimes
being kind to those closest to you is challenging. It is even more
challenging for most people to be kind to those who are unlike them.
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Are your kids begging you to buy things? If so, the marketers are being
effective in teaching your children one of the best ways to get you to
break down and buy it - beg! Advertisers teach kids to beg because
they've proven begging works.
You also may be unintentionally fueling more begging by giving in to it.
One mom realized she contributed to her daughter feeling entitled. She
didn’t want to deprive her daughter so ended up buying her what she
wanted. Soon her daughter was whining for things whenever they went
shopping. Continually indulging her daughter resulted in her
undesirable behavior.
Influencing Your Spending
Did you know that kids under age 12 influence the spending of 700
billion dollars per year? From the brand of macaroni and cheese to buy
to where to go on vacation, children have a big say. No wonder
businesses are focused on turning children into voracious consumers.
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Your kids are encountering and solving problems all day long. When they
are babies, they let you know they have a problem by crying. You then
try to solve their discomfort by doing things like feeding them,
changing their diaper, or rocking them.
The older they become the more they can solve their own problems. If
you continue to solve their problems for them, they do not learn how to
think through their problems on their own. They learn to rely on you
instead of themselves.
How can you provide guidance without jumping in with solutions? Asking
the right questions can help your children think through problems. The
trick is asking helpful questions that do not feel like an
interrogation!
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How often are your kids in a calm, peaceful state? Kids do their best when they are feeling safe and calm. Being in a calm emotional state is essential for optimal learning.
Football quarterbacks also perform their best when they are calm and
focused. They can take in the big picture, avoid getting sacked and
complete amazing passes. You can see it in their eyes when they are
calm versus frazzled. Once they are frazzled, they make lots of
mistakes. Just like quarterbacks, your kids are at their best when they
are calm.
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Do you get stressed trying to get your kids going somewhere on time? Do you find yourself yelling at them to get going? If so, you'll be able to relate to this clip from Modern Family! Watch to find out what other options you have rather than yelling louder.
How do you apologize to your kids when you've made a mistake? As a parent you will certainly make mistakes. Your kids will learn to apologize by watching how you apologize.
How do you choose consequences for misbehavior? How can you use consequences that help your child learn from a mistake? How do you avoid huge, inappropriate consequences?
