Friday, October 10, 2008

Go back to your old way of parenting!

I’m in the middle of facilitating a seven week Priceless Parenting discussion group. Parents with older children are reporting that their children are noticing the difference and asking their parents to stop taking the parenting class! When parents change their behavior, it’s a common reaction for the children to work hard to get them to return to their old behaviors. Even if the old parenting behaviors involved lots of yelling or nagging, at least the kids knew what to expect.

For example, one mom said she had taken on a lot of responsibility that she realized her children really should have. When she started turning over responsibility for things like remembering homework assignments and bringing the correct sports equipment to school, her kids complained. Her son was especially frustrated when he had to play soccer after school without his cleats and shin guards. However, the next time there was soccer practice after school, he remembered to bring his cleats and shin guards!

Although this mom is working on guiding her son to ultimately becoming a responsible adult, he isn’t thanking her for this. Anticipating the resistance to your new parenting skills can help you stay the course even when the sailing isn't always smooth.
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