Successfully Tackling Touchy Topics

How do you feel when you need to talk to your child, your child’s teacher, your spouse or someone else about a touchy topic? Are you excited to address this important issue or do you feel like running in the opposite direction? Most people feel a significant amount of anxiety when they think about addressing a situation which is emotionally charged and opinions differ.

When approaching a difficult conversation you have three basic options:

1. Choose to ignore it and hope the situation magically gets better.
2. Launch head first into the conversation and handle it poorly.
3. Prepare ahead of time and handle the conversation well.

While it would be great if challenging situations got better on their own, since this rarely happens let’s look at how you can prepare to handle the conversation well.

Preparing for the Conversation

You will increase the odds of having a productive conversation if you prepare ahead of time. Begin by considering your motive for having this conversation.

In the book Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, the authors identify three important questions to ask yourself when preparing for a crucial conversation:

(finish reading the article on Priceless Parenting)

How can I get my kids to listen to me?

Do your kids often ignore your requests until you are screaming or threatening them? Are you tired of asking them multiple times to do something?

If so, there’s a solution! You can retrain them to listen the first time by only asking once and then acting. For example, there was a 3-year-old girl in a hotel lobby who ran to the couch, climbed up and started jumping. Her Dad told her “No jumping on the couch!” She continued jumping. Her Mom then told her “Get down!” She still continued jumping.

Soon both parents were yelling and threatening and the girl eventually stopped jumping for a few minutes before going back to the couch and jumping. How frustrating for these parents!

What else could they have done? Ask their daughter once to stop jumping on the couch and when she continued, go immediately over and gently take her off the couch. Give her another option for getting out her energy like “You can jump as much as you want on the floor. Do you think you can jump like a bunny all the way over to that table?”

If you want your kids to listen the first time, you need to act whenever they don’t respond to your first request. Taking action is more involved than just repeating your request but it’s essential if you want your kids to learn to listen the first time.

Top 10 Popular Articles from Last Year

These are the articles from Priceless Parenting that were most often read throughout the past year:

1. Changing Your Children's Thinking from Negative to Positive    


2. Limiting Screen Time for Kids    


3. Improving Your Children's Motivation  


4. 3 Keys to Developing Children's Empathy 


5. Making and Breaking Promises    


6. Allowing Your Children to Struggle is Often the Best Way Through a Problem    


7. Learning How to Fit into Peer Groups And Find Friends 


8. How You Unintentionally Encourage Misbehavior    


9. Lying, Cheating and Stealing 


10. Responding to Your Kids Swearing  

If you would like to reprint any article for your organization's newsletter, you are welcome to do so. I just ask that you include the byline.

Gaining Your Kids' Cooperation in Helping with the Chores

Is it time to review your household chores distribution? By the time your kids are 4-years-old, it’s good to include them in helping out with chores.

Since a new year is soon to begin, this may be the perfect time to write down all the chores that need to be done … including paying bills, buying groceries, preparing meals and providing rides. Next circle the ones you as parents will do and then let your kids choose which ones they would like to do.

Post the chore chart somewhere everyone can easily see it. Check in on how it’s going every week or two. Adjust or switch chores as needed so everyone is successfully participating.

Each night a child is born is a holy night

Each Night a Child is Born is a Holy Night  by Sophia Lyon Fahs

For so the children come
And so they have been coming.
Always in the same way they come -
Born of the seed of man and woman.
No angels herald their beginnings.
No prophets predict their future courses.
No wisemen see a star to show where to find the babe that will save humankind.

Yet each night a child is born is a holy night.
Fathers and Mothers sitting beside their children's cribs,
Feel glory in the sight of a new life beginning.

They ask, "Where and how will this new life end?
Or will it ever end?"

Each night a child is born is a holy night,
A time for singing,
A time for wondering,
A time for worshipping.

DANCE Parenting Classes January 12-25, 2014 (from your own home)

Parenting is a dance you do with your kids. If you don't like their moves, take this class and learn how to change your lead!
Discover your children's strengths and increase their competence Aim for high expectations based on your children's developmental level Notice misbehavior and respond with reasonable, valuable consequences Control your reaction to stressful parenting situations Enjoy your children and take time to renew yourself
Priceless Parenting classes are grounded on decades of positive parenting experiences from real life situations and backed by the latest scientific research in child development. The DANCE Parenting Class combines the powerful online parenting classes and written questions/answers with the class author, Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
Space is limited. Register today for one of these classes. Register now for $99! Yes! I want to join this parenting class. I understand that I will get: 11 audio/video parenting lessons, January 12 - 25, 2014 Written interaction with the instructor, Kathy Slattengren, on each lesson Ability to schedule a 20 minute private call with Kathy Slattengren PDF copy of the book How to Parent In Ways That Are Truly Helpful, Not Hurtful Certificate of Completion for 8 hours upon finishing the course and filling out a questionnaire Permission to share this course with my spouse or partner Learn more and register for one of these classes: Ages 5 and Under  Ages 6 to 12  Ages 13 to 18  I hope you are able to join me!      Kathy Slattengren, M. Ed.      President, Priceless Parenting P.S. If you know someone who might enjoy taking this class, please do me a favor and share this with them.

Helping Your Toddler Learn to Share

Sharing is a tough thing to do for most toddlers and preschoolers. However, it's also an important skill need for making friends. You can help your toddler develop sharing skills by playing a simple game with them.

Start by picking up a toy that your child likes. Give your toddler the toy saying “Here you go!” and then a few seconds later asks “Can I have a turn?” When your child gives the toy back to you, thank them for sharing it. Then hold the toy for a few seconds before giving it back to your child. It’s a game where the fun is in passing the toy back and forth each time giving your child positive feedback for sharing.