Teaching Children To Express Gratitude

How are you teaching your kids to show gratitude? Training your children to say "please" and "thank you" is essential. This basic social skill is critical in showing respect for others.

It takes plenty of prompting and reminders when your kids are young. It is worth the effort. Developing the skill of showing appreciation will benefit your kids. Expressing gratitude is crucial in maintaining relationships.

Showing a Lack of Appreciation

It can be challenging for kids to consider other people’s feelings. Part of showing genuine appreciation involves being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When children have not fully developed this skill, it can cause problems. 

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Inspiring Kindness in Your Family

 

Being kind is a choice. It’s a win-win choice. You feel good about yourself when you do something kind for someone. They also feel better because of your kindness.

How would you rate the level of kindness in your family? Sometimes being kind to those closest to you is challenging. It is even more challenging for most people to be kind to those who are unlike them. 

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Lessening Advertising’s Impact On Kids Spending Money

 
Are your kids begging you to buy things? If so, the marketers are being effective in teaching your children one of the best ways to get you to break down and buy it - beg! Advertisers teach kids to beg because they've proven begging works.

You also may be unintentionally fueling more begging by giving in to it. One mom realized she contributed to her daughter feeling entitled. She didn’t want to deprive her daughter so ended up buying her what she wanted. Soon her daughter was whining for things whenever they went shopping. Continually indulging her daughter resulted in her undesirable behavior.

Influencing Your Spending

Did you know that kids under age 12 influence the spending of 700 billion dollars per year? From the brand of macaroni and cheese to buy to where to go on vacation, children have a big say. No wonder businesses are focused on turning children into voracious consumers. 

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Using Curiosity Questions To Solve Problems

Your kids are encountering and solving problems all day long. When they are babies, they let you know they have a problem by crying. You then try to solve their discomfort by doing things like feeding them, changing their diaper, or rocking them.

The older they become the more they can solve their own problems. If you continue to solve their problems for them, they do not learn how to think through their problems on their own. They learn to rely on you instead of themselves.

How can you provide guidance without jumping in with solutions? Asking the right questions can help your children think through problems. The trick is asking helpful questions that do not feel like an interrogation!  

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Feeling Peace of Mind Versus Anxiety

 

How often are your kids in a calm, peaceful state? Kids do their best when they are feeling safe and calm. Being in a calm emotional state is essential for optimal learning.

Football quarterbacks also perform their best when they are calm and focused. They can take in the big picture, avoid getting sacked and complete amazing passes. You can see it in their eyes when they are calm versus frazzled. Once they are frazzled, they make lots of mistakes. Just like quarterbacks, your kids are at their best when they are calm. 

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Rushing and Stressing

Do you get stressed trying to get your kids going somewhere on time? Do you find yourself yelling at them to get going? If so, you'll be able to relate to this clip from Modern Family! Watch to find out what other options you have rather than yelling louder.  

 

Apologizing Takes Courage

How do you apologize to your kids when you've made a mistake? As a parent you will certainly make mistakes. Your kids will learn to apologize by watching how you apologize.

 

 

Oversized Consequences

How do you choose consequences for misbehavior? How can you use consequences that help your child learn from a mistake? How do you avoid huge, inappropriate consequences? 

 

Asking To Go To A Party

How do you respond when your teen surprises you with asking to go to a party?  What do you say when you really think your teen should be studying instead?

Complaining About Food

How do you respond when your child complains about the food being served?  The pressure is higher when your child does this in a public setting like a restaurant. 

Kids Biting

No parent wants their child to be the biter at preschool!   How do you respond if your child is biting others?  

Critical Comments Flow Freely from Parents

Do you make more positive comments or negative comments to your children on a typical day? If you are like many parents, you make a lot more negative comments than positive ones. You may not even realize how often you are doing it.

Misbehavior quickly catches your attention. This fits with the negativity bias. The negativity bias is the tendency to notice negative behavior more easily and to dwell on it. This means it is easier to see your kids' poor behavior than their good behavior.

Criticizing Kids

What do you do when your kids' behavior is outside your expectations? Isn't it your job to point out what your kids are doing wrong so that they can improve their behavior? 

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What tone are you using with your kids: positive or negative?

 

Helping Kids Whose Behavior Is Not Normal

Is your child developmentally on track? It can be hard to know if you don’t have many other similarly aged children for comparison. Teachers, pediatricians, and child psychologists can provide insight based on all the other children they see.

Although all children are on a similar developmental path, they progress in their own way. Some babies are walking at 6 months and others not until 18 months. As long as your child is walking by 18 months, there is no reason for concern.

Your child’s developmental milestones can be looked at on a bell curve. Your child may excel in one area but be behind in another area. For example, maybe your child can read but doesn’t play with other kids.

Considering Your Child’s Abilities

Understanding typical developmental milestones can help you recognize when your child may need help. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has information on what most children can do at certain ages. They also tell you what to do if you are concerned about your child’s development. 

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Taking Parental Responsibility to Avoid Huge Problems

Have you ever been in a home where the kids are calling the shots instead of the parents? A home like this feels chaotic and out of control. When kids are in the driver’s seat instead of the parents, there is an emphasis on short-term pleasure without much consideration for long-term consequences.

These parents have not intentionally set out to turn over their leadership role to their kids. It has happened gradually. Parents might be exhausted or overwhelmed. When their kids’ pitch fits, the parents give in to get a little peace. Kids quickly learn what works to get what they want.

Experiencing Real Problems

You have expectations for how your kids will behave. Some kids are more difficult to parent due to how often they fail to meet expectations. Sometimes parents drop their expectations or give in to their kids’ demands. 

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