Resolving Conflicts Using Collaborative & Proactive Solutions

Do your children have challenging behaviors that keep reoccurring? If so, you probably have tried numerous things that haven't worked: time outs, grounding, withholding privileges, taking away toys, taking away the computer, TV or cellphone, and talking about the problem. Nothing has helped!

By definition, challenging behavior is difficult to solve. The reason nothing has worked is because the underlying cause of the problem has not been addressed. The trick is figuring out the root cause of the problem behavior.

Three Approaches to Solving Problem Behavior

Dr. Ross Greene has worked extensively with kids who are acting out at home and school. Over the years he has developed an approach that leads to success with most of these kids.

He discusses three options to misbehavior in his book Raising Human Beings. He refers to these options as Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.

Plan A – Announcing the Solution

You solve the problem by letting your child know what is going to happen. You make the decision based on your expertise without your child’s input. Greene explains “Plan A involves solving a problem unilaterally, and it’s very popular. When you solve a problem using Plan A, you are the one deciding the solution to a given unsolved problem, and you’re imposing that solution on your child.”

For example, you might say things like:

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