Taking Parental Responsibility to Avoid Huge Problems

Have you ever been in a home where the kids are calling the shots instead of the parents? A home like this feels chaotic and out of control. When kids are in the driver’s seat instead of the parents, there is an emphasis on short-term pleasure without much consideration for long-term consequences.

These parents have not intentionally set out to turn over their leadership role to their kids. It has happened gradually. Parents might be exhausted or overwhelmed. When their kids’ pitch fits, the parents give in to get a little peace. Kids quickly learn what works to get what they want.

Experiencing Real Problems

You have expectations for how your kids will behave. Some kids are more difficult to parent due to how often they fail to meet expectations. Sometimes parents drop their expectations or give in to their kids’ demands. 

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Using Self-renewal Best Practices Presentation

 

Essential, Stress Reducing Self-Care

Do you find yourself feeling guilty when you think about taking time for yourself? As a parent you have a million other things that need to be done - laundry, dishes, helping with homework, making dinner, driving the kids around and the list goes on.

Do you feel like there isn’t enough time to get everything done each day? Is your schedule crammed full? Does adding your own self-care to that list make it feel even more overwhelming?

Taking care of yourself is always important and it’s even more critical if you are feeling overwhelmed. Nobody will do it for you – in fact others are likely to encourage you to put even more on your plate that has nothing to do with taking care of yourself!

What is self-care?

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Increasing Motivation To Do Homework

 
Do your children struggle to get their homework done each day? Do they refuse to do it sometimes? If you are in the habit of struggling with your kids over homework, it’s no fun for anyone.

The good news is you can change these dynamics! One school counselor reported that she saw many kids who refused to do their homework. When she asked what they would do if their parents left homework up to them, almost all the kids replied they would do their homework. They explained they did not want to disappoint their teachers, miss their recess time or be embarrassed by not having it done.

Removing Power Struggles Over Homework

When your kids focus on resisting you, they can’t feel these internal motivations. How can you reduce your children’s resistance and increase the likelihood of their homework getting done? 

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Sticking to Parenting Decisions Without Arguing

 

(read "Responses That Invite Cooperation, Not Power Struggles")

Teaching Kids Who To Trust

Who do you trust? Who should your kids trust? Being able to trust is foundational for close relationships. Families thrive when everyone can trust each other.

When there is trust, you feel safe sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. You can take risks because you know the other person won’t take advantage of your vulnerability. You know they will be there for you.

Building Trust

Trust builds over time through everyday interactions. From the moment of their birth, your children need you to be reliable for keeping them safe and fed. As they grow and ask challenging questions, your honest answers increase their trust. When you make promises and follow through on those promises, you also build trust. 

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Choosing Growth Rather Than Resistance to Reality Shifts

Reality shifts can happen slowly like the seasons changing or quickly like an earthquake. Either type of change can leave you feeling disoriented and unstable. How do you handle these uncomfortable feelings? How do you help your kids embrace the new reality?

Kids benefit from stability and structure. For example, having a consistent schedule creates structure in their days. Knowing what they will be doing and who they will be with each day provides a level of comfort.

What happens when their stable platform is rocked? It might be rocked by things like a new sibling, a move, a new school, a pandemic, or a divorce. How do you help your kids navigate through these changes? 

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