Thursday, March 5, 2015

Teaching Kids How to Fail Successfully

Making mistakes is part of being human. Although you may hate making mistakes, simply participating in life guarantees plenty of opportunities for mistakes.

How do you handle yourself when you’ve made a mistake? How do you react to your children when they’ve made a mistake? The way you handle mistakes and teach your children to handle mistakes is the difference between growing in confidence and shrinking back.

Low Self-Esteem Response to Mistakes

Children with low self-esteem will beat themselves up when they make a mistake. The mistake might be something as minor as mispronouncing a word while reading aloud, getting an answer wrong on a test or missing catching the ball.

You may hear them say things like:
  • “I’m stupid.”
  • “I’ll never get this right.”
  • “I should have known that answer.”
  • “I hope I don’t mess up again.”
Instead of wanting to try again, these kids may prefer avoiding the situation. They might want to quit the team, not go to school or drop out of the play. They would rather not participate than risk the feelings of anxiety and shame.

(finish reading the article on Priceless Parenting)

Monday, March 2, 2015

Moving From a Place of Power to a Place of Influence

The older your kids become, the more control and power they have over the decisions that effect them. When you try to force your ideas on them, you will likely end up in a power struggle.

Judy Steckman from Bend, Oregon just finished the online parenting class for teens and wrote "I think the tools and 'no nonsense' approach will be so beneficial to my kids. I'm moving from a place of power to a place of influence that will last a lifetime."

I loved how she said "I'm moving from a place of power to a place of influence that will last a lifetime." She captures it beautifully ... when you try to have power over your kids, they often rebel. Focusing on your influence acknowledges their autonomy while recognizing your significant input.